Thursday, December 10, 2009
Spiritual - Salawat (Durood))
by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sb
Monday, 07 December 2009 10:18
During a visit to Madina Munawwarah, I was sitting in the courtyard, on the marble floor, outside the Musjidun Nabawi, near the Raudha Mubarak, looking at the Green Dome, and in deep thought, when a doctor from Johannesburg, walked by. After making Salaam he asked me as to what I was watching.
I replied : ‘The flights coming into Madina Sharief.’
He replied : ‘No planes are permitted to fly in the vicinity of the Haram Sharief.’
I explained : ‘The flights are the flights of the angels, who have collected the Salawat (Durood) and Salaam of millions of Muslims, throughout the world, and who are now conveying these to Rasulullah (saw).’
The Hadith Sharief mentions : ‘ Verily Allah has certain angels wandering all over the earth. They convey to me the Salaat of my Ummat.’
…This should not be difficult to understand in this day and age of advanced technology. Thousands of people are making phone calls to people in different cities and countries of the world. Within seconds, there is a connection and the person is able to speak.
Rasulullah’s Ihsaan (favour) upon us is tremendous. Salawat (Durood) should therefore become our daily practice as it develops that connection with Rasulullah .
Using the remarkable gift of imagination, one should imagine the angels conveying one’s Salawat (Durood) in the court of Rasulullah or imagine standing before the Raudha mubarak and personally presenting Salaat and Salaam to the Master of all men, the Seal of all the Prophets, the Crown of the Believers, the Illuminator of the universe, the Leader of the pious, the Protector and Guide of the Believers and the Beloved of Allah Ta’ala, Sayyedena Muhammad .
This noble and lofty ibaadah of conveying Salaat and Salaam with sincerity, attention and such meditation will create a ‘kaifiyyat’ or special feeling within the heart as well as gain one the Qurb of Allah Ta’ala, since Rasulullah is the Beloved of Allah Ta’ala.
Moreover, the person who conveys Salaat and Salaam becomes the beneficiary to many, many bounties, in this world and the next. Some of these are : sins are forgiven, stages elevated in the hereafter, protection from Jahannum, protection from harm, intercession of Rasulullah , securing the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. It also draws the Rahmat of Allah Ta’ala and invites barakah into our homes, businesses, etc., and relieves from various anxieties.
Through the recitation of Salawat (Durood), duas are also accepted.
"Undoubtedly Allah and His Angels send blessings on the Prophet. O' you who believe! Send upon Him Blessings and salute Him with all respect." (Al-Qur'an 33:56)
- "The one who recites Salawat (Durood) once Allah sends ten blessings upon him, eradicates ten of his sins and improves ten of his grades." (Mishkat)
- "On the Day of Judgement the nearest person to me, from amongst the people, would be the one who would have recited Salawat the most in this (mortal) world." (Tirmidhi)
- "(Truly) a miserly person is he who (when) heard my name being mentioned did not recite Salawat in my favour." (Mishkat)
- "You decorate your meetings by reciting salawat on me because your salawat would (turn out to) be the Divine Light for yourself on the Day of Judgement." (Jamih us-Sahih)
- "Recite salawat on Friday in abundance because it is the "Day of presence of angels (for witness)." On this day Angels present themselves (in my court). And undoubtedly when any one from amongst you recites salawat in my favour then before he has finished his recitation of salawat in my favour, his salawat reaches my court." (Jamih us-Sahih)
- "In the magnificent night of Friday (i.e. the night between Thursday and Friday) and the luminous day of Friday recite salawat in my favour abundantly, because your recited salawat is presented to me (by the Angels)." (Jamih us-Sahih)
- "Recite salawat on the day of "Friday" and the "Friday Night" (The night between Thursday and Friday) excessively because who-so-ever does that, I shall stand witness to him and would be his advocate on the Day of Judgement." (Jamih us-Sahih)
Monday, November 23, 2009
First Ten Days of Dhul Hijjah: Days of Virtue And Righteous Deeds
By Jimas, Islaam.com
bn 'Abbas says about the Aayah, "Remember Allaah during the well known days," that it refers to the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah. [This is related by al-Bukhari]
Allaah swears an oath by them, and swearing an oath by something is indicative of its importance and great benefit. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "By the dawn; by the 10 nights" [al-Fajr 89:1-2]. Ibn Abbaas, Ibn al-Zubayr, Mujaahid and others of the earlier and later generations said that this refers to the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah. Ibn Katheer said: "This is the correct opinion." [Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/413]
Praise be to Allaah Who has created Time and has made some times better than others, some months and days and nights better than others, when rewards are multiplied many times, as a mercy towards His slaves. This encourages them to do more righteous deeds and makes them more eager to worship Him, so that the Muslim renews his efforts to gain a greater share of reward, prepare himself for death and supply himself in readiness for the Day of Judgement.
This season of worship brings many benefits, such as the opportunity to correct ones faults and make up for any shortcomings or anything that one might have missed. Every one of these special occasions involves some kind of worship through which the slaves may draw closer to Allaah, and some kind of blessing though which Allaah bestows His favour and mercy upon whomsoever He will. The happy person is the one who makes the most of these special months, days and hours and draws nearer to his Lord during these times through acts of worship; he will most likely be touched by the blessing of Allaah and will feel the joy of knowing that he is safe from the flames of Hell. [Ibn Rajab, al-Lataaif, p.8]
Ibn 'Abbas reports that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "No good deeds done on other days are superior to those done on these days [meaning the ten days of Dhul-Hijjah]." The companions asked, "O Messenger of Allaah, not even jihad in the way of Allaah?" He said, "Not even jihad, except for the man who puts his life and wealth in danger [for Allaah's sake] and returns with neither of them." [This is related by the group except Muslim and an-Nasa'i]
Ahmad and at-Tabarani record from Ibn 'Umar that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "There is no day more honorable in Allaah's sight and no acts more beloved therein to Allaah than those in these ten days. So say tahlil (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allaah : Laa ilaaha illallaah), takbir (Allaah is the greatest : Allaahu Akbar) and tahmid (All praise is due to Allaah : alhumdulillaah) a lot [on those days]." [Reported by Ahmad, 7/224; Ahmad Shaakir stated it is saheeh]
Abu Hurairah relates that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "There are no days more loved to Allaah for you to worship Him therein than the ten days of Dhul Hijja. Fasting any day during it is equivalent to fasting one year and to offer salatul tahajjud (late-night prayer) during one of its nights is like performing the late night prayer on the night of power. [i.e., Lailatul Qadr]." [This is related by at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and al-Baihaqi]
Ibn 'Umar narrated that at Mina, the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Do you know what is the day today?" The people replied, "Allaah and His Messenger know it better." He said, "It is the forbidden (sacred) day. And do you know what town is this?" They replied, "Allaah and His Messenger know it better." He said, "This is the forbidden (sacred) town (Mecca). And do you know which month is this?" The people replied, "Allaah and His Apostle know it better." He said, "This is the forbidden (sacred) month." The Messenger added, "No doubt, Allaah made your blood, your properties, and your honour sacred to one another like the sanctity of this day of yours in this month of yours in this town of yours."
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: On the Day of Nahr (10th of Dhul-Hijja), the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) stood in between the Jamrat during his Hajj which he performed (as in the previous Hadith) and said, "This is the greatest Day (i.e. 10th of Dhul-Hijjah)." The Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) started saying repeatedly, "O Allaah! Be Witness (I have conveyed Your Message)." He then bade the people farewell. The people said, "(This is Hajjat-al-Wada)." [Bukhari 2.798]
Fasting Day of Arafat
Abu Qatadah reported that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Fasting on the day of 'Arafah is an expiation for two years, the year preceding it and the year following it. Fasting the day of 'Ashurah is an expiation for the year preceding it." [This is related by "the group," except for al-Bukhari and at-Tirmidhi]
Hafsah reported, "There are five things that the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) never abandoned: fasting the day of 'Ashurah, fasting the [first] 10 [days of Dhul-Hijjah], fasting 3 days of every month and praying two rak'ah before the dawn prayer." [This is related by Ahmad and an-Nasa'i]
'Uqbah ibn 'Amr reported that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "The day of 'Arafah, the day of sacrifice, and the days of tashreeq are 'ids for us--the people of Islam--and they are days of eating and drinking." [This is related by "the five," except for Ibn Majah. At-Tirmidhi grades it sahih]
Abu Hurairah stated, "The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) forbade fasting on the day of 'Arafah for one who is actually at 'Arafah." [This is related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, and Ibn Majah]
At-Tirmidhi comments: "The scholars prefer that the day of 'Arafah be fasted unless one is actually at 'Arafah."
It is Sunnah to say Takbeer ("Allaahu akbar"), Tahmeed ("Al-hamdu Lillaah"), Tahleel ("La ilaha ill-Allaah") and Tasbeeh ("Subhaan Allaah") during the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, and to say it loudly in the mosque, the home, the street and every place where it is permitted to remember Allaah and mention His name out loud, as an act of worship and as a proclamation of the greatness of Allaah, may He be exalted. Men should recite these phrases out loud, and women should recite them quietly.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"That they might witness things that are of benefit to them (i.e., reward of Hajj in the Hereafter, and also some worldly gain from trade, etc.), and mention the name of Allaah on appointed days, over the beast of cattle that He has provided for them (for sacrifice)..." [al-Hajj 22:28]
The majority of scholars agree that the "appointed days" are the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, because of the words of Ibn Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father), "The appointed days are the first ten days (of Dhul-Hijjah)."
The Takbeer may include the words "Allaahu akbar, Allaahu akbar, la ilaaha ill-Allaah; wa Allaahu akbar wa Lillaahil- hamd (Allaah is Most Great, Allaah is Most Great, there is no deity worthy of worship but Allaah; Allaah is Most Great and to Allaah be praise)," as well as other phrases.
Takbeer at this time is an aspect of the Sunnah that has been forgotten, especially during the early part of this period, so much so that one hardly ever hears Takbeer, except from a few people. This Takbeer should be pronounced loudly, in order to revive the Sunnah and as a reminder to the negligent. There is sound evidence that Ibn Umar and Abu Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used to go out in the marketplace during the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, reciting Takbeer, and the people would recite Takbeer when they heard them. The idea behind reminding the people to recite Takbeer is that each one should recite it individually, not in unison, as there is no basis in Sharee'ah for doing this.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
March 7th, 2007
By Joanna Francis
Writer, Journalist – USA
Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman, I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.
They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.
They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.
I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you.
The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too!
Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.
A Woman’s Heart
I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears.
Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love.
Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.
Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated.
We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it.
Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot.
Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity.
Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!
I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration.
From your Christian sister “with love”
--The original can be found on Crescent and the Cross. Joanna Francis is a writer and journalist. She manages her own blog.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Trick-or-treat! Statistics Canada breaks down Halloween
By The Canadian Press, October 31, 2009
A look at the scariest night of the year, by the numbers.
OTTAWA - The annual celebration of ghosts and witches will be in full swing today, as kids make the rounds of their neighbourhoods in pursuit of holiday treats.
In honour of Halloween, Statistics Canada has rolled out some facts and figures on everything from pumpkins to zombies to give Canadians a better understanding of some familiar items and characteristics associated with the holiday.
3,807,039 - The number of children in Canada of prime trick-or-treating age, five to 14 years old, in 2008, down from the previous year. This is the lowest turnout since 1990.
The number of children aged five to 14 peaked in 2002 at 4,103,114.
12,435,520 - The number of private dwellings across Canada in 2006 where children might be able to receive treats.
2,317 - The number of farms with pumpkin patches in Canada according to the 2006 Census.65,840 tonnes - The amount of pumpkins and squash produced in Canada in 2008.
In some parts of Canada, children chant "Halloween apples!" in their quest for treats. Where the French-Canadian culture is dominant, trick-or-treaters must sing a song for their reward.
6.85 kg - The average amount of fresh apples eaten by each person in Canada in 2008.
393,435 tonnes - The marketed production of apples in Canada in 2008, with a farm gate value of $174.5 million.
(how many lives of poor and food-deprived people could be saved with that many apples?)
A vampire's favourite hangout:
$117.1 million - The estimated value of wood coffins and caskets manufactured in Canada in 2006.
(all that money could probably solve a food or any kind of crisis in some part of the world right now....)
Between 1996 and 2006, the number of female funeral directors and embalmers in Canada nearly doubled.
4,600 - The number of funeral directors
and embalmers in Canada in 2006. Of this numbe
r, 3,235 were men and 1,365 were women.
3,735 - The number of funeral directors and embalmers in Canada 10 years earlier, in 1996. Of this number, 3,015 were men and 720 were women.
in October 2008. December, however
, was the month with the highest monthly sales in 2008, at $394 million.
$255 million - The average monthly sales of candy, confectionery and snack foods at large retailers in 2008.
These people are not really zo
mbies a but close!
3.3 million - The estimated number of Canadians aged 15 or older who had problems going to sleep or staying asleep (i
nsomnia) in 2002.
We don't know if these delinquent acts were committed at Halloween ...
1 out of 5 - The proportion of middle-school students in Toronto who reported that they had committed at least on
e delinquent act in 2006.
Findings from the International Youth Survey also suggest that a relatively small proportion of the young people were responsible for a high number of repeated delinquent acts. Delinquency, as defined in this report, refers to all behaviours explicitly set out in the Criminal Code of Canada.
There is a general increase in the number of criminal incidents reported to police at Halloween (compared with the previous week). Data are provided by 155 police services representing 98 per cent of the population of Canada.
49 per cent - The proportion of all criminal incidents reported during Halloween 2008 that were violations against property.
18 per cent - The proportion of all criminal incidents reported during Halloween 2008 that were violations against the person.
20 per cent - The percentage increase in violent offences, such as robbery, aggravated assault, assaults causing bodily harm and assaults against police officers, reported during Halloween 2008 compared to a week earlier.
11 per cent - The percentage increase in property violations, including general mischief and arson, reported to police during Halloween 2008 compared to a week earlier.
0 per cent - The percentage change in Criminal Code traffic violations reported during Halloween 2008 compared to a week earlier.
Witches and worshippers of Satan:
850 - The number of Canadians who reported that they were Satanists in 2001. This was up from 340 in 1991.
9,575 - The number of Canadians who reported their religion as Wicca in 2001.(Source: Statistics Canada) http://money.ca.msn.com/investing/insight/article.aspx?cp-documentid=22450160
Friday, October 23, 2009
This time of the year is sort of sad for me. With summer ending so fast here in Regina (did we even have a proper summer?) and with a very bad winter coming along (Allahu Alim, but that's what's the farmers apparently say) it's pretty depressing! Usually it's nice, bright and sunny in Regina, but it's been more cloudy then usual. Now, to actually get not-so-cold days and some sunshine seems exciting. I'd say to my husband after checking the weathernetwork.com, "It's going to be 8 degrees today!!!" I'm saying it as if it was the best thing that happened to me in a long time. Yeah, it's pretty sad.
With all that sad stuff aside, Alhamdulillah I can at least say that I had a great summer! I went to Toronto, drove from there with my family to here, drove with them to Alberta, went to Jasper and Banff. Then Ramadhan came, Eid came, went to T.O again (as my Eid gift from my husband) for a week after Eid and I went to see my friend in Minnesota (US) during the Thanksgiving Day long weekend! Alhamdulillah I had a lot of fun =D
I'm actually finally settling in again. I mean, since July I've just been sort of all over the place and not really on a fixed schedule. Now that it's all over and evening madresa has started again, I'm falling back in my schedule. Oh and InshaAllah the Seerah halaqah (at IAOS Regina) will also be starting again. With a few more other classes, I'll really be busy and in Regina for a long time.
So here's the poster for that, I actually enjoyed making this one a lot. I'm still not satisfied with it because I hardly know how to use Corel Draw still. Anyone know where I can get good tips (easy to understand and with lots of screen-shots) about how to do some creative things on there?! I'd really appreciate it, it gets me so frustrated sometimes.
Besides all of the above, I really want to rant on some of the things going on right now. Ok there's actually one in particular I'd like to rant about, can you guess?
It's the whole niqab issue. Yes, that one. However I'll have to do that later, I need to still organize myself with this blog, there are some over due things that need to be posted first. Until then, keep visiting! I'm sorry for not updating often, I really don't know why I still have a blog..
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Eid Mubarak! Happy Eid!
It's hard to be so excited, when you know it's the end of Ramadhan. It went so unbelievably fast that it's actaully scary. SubhanAllah, May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) give us life for the next
Just a reminder, try your best not to let the Shaitan and and our Nafs ruin whatever we have reaped from harvest of Ramadhan. Sisters and Brothers, remember what Allah ta'aala has commanded us,
“Tell the mu’mineen men that they should lower their gazes and guard their chastity. And tell the believing women that they should lower their gazes and preserve their chastity.” (24:30-31)
You know very well what that means, do not let the Eid Salah (and other Eid gatherings) be a means of you directly disobeying your Lord. Remember your fasts, night prayers, your du'as, your tears, remember Ramadhan and remember Allah, have Taqwa and you will get to keep the benefits of the Blessed month of Ramadhan, inshaAllah.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) accepts all our good deeds (whether big or small), our ibadah (worship, whether big or small) and all of our du'as!
Lets end it there, I have so much to do before tomorrow!
Eid Mubarak again!
oh and please remember my family and I in your humble du'as.
*******Oh and another thing I must share, Alhamdulillah, we have a new-Muslim sister, Carrie, who just converted today! SubhanAllah, Allah ta'aala has guided her right before Ramadhan ended! May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) keep her on the straight path (and the rest of this Ummah), with a strong Iman and Taqwa!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Shaykh Al-Hadith Fazlur Rahman Azmi of Madrasah Arabia Islamia, Azadville, South Africa is in Toronto!
Alhamdulillah, Canada is finally being blessed with the presence of my husband’s ustadh (teacher) and mentor Shaykh al-Hadith Fazlur Rahman Azmi. I’ve heard so much from my husband about his shaykh that even I started to feel the excitement of his coming. Then I finally got to reading his biography, and I must say that just by reading about him, my heart is already anticipating his mere presence. SubhanAllah, I envy all the brothers, especially my husband, who can spend their time with such Shuyukh. InshaAllah at least I’ll be able to reap from the benefits that my husband will get from the Shaykh al-Hadith's visit.
I just received the biography on Monday, I just finished reading it this morning, and while I was finishing it off today, my (very excited) husband gets a call from his Shaykh who is now in Toronto. There I was, thinking, “SubhanAllah, the person I’m reading about, the person who this book is all about, is on the phone right now…wow.”
The Shaykh al-Hadith is known for his teaching, his depth in knowledge, his ability to do amazing research, his love for the Deen, his worry for the Ummah, his love for Sayyidinah Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhim wassalam), and of course, his immense love for Allah (subhanahu wa ta’aala). These are probably just the few things I can think of right now. All I keep thinking about is how fortunate my husband is to have learned from him, mashaAllah. Alhamdulillah I’m very grateful that at least I got to read his biography and subhanAllah, the reason why the biography was done on him while he’s still alive was so that people can benefit from him while he is still with us.
You know when you read a biography of a Shaykh (from let’s say in the past 100 years) and he has already passed away. Don’t you really wish you could have met this person or at least sat in one of his talks hoping to take as much pearls of knowledge and wisdom as you can? It always happens right? But Alhamdulillah, this is the first time for me, where that’s not the case at all. InshaAllah, he’ll be coming to Regina (IAOS) and I’ll be able to sit in his talks and inshaAllah, I hope and pray I’ll be able to take as much as I possibly can from such a scholar’s talks.
So, to all the folks living in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area), take advantage of such an opportunity! You shouldn’t have someone all the way in the prairies tell you this.
And to the folks in the prairies (the land of canola and buffaloes) make sure you come for the talks! Whether you’re in Regina or Saskatoon (where he’s also coming on Mon., Sept 21 inshaAllah) you’ve got no excuse! MashaAllah the GTA gets many Ulema visiting throughout the year, and we hardly ever do. This is a great blessing for us and it should be a great honour to have someone like Shaykh al-Hadith come to us to share his knowledge. The talks will be in Urdu and Arabic, but translation will be done in English inshaAllah.
Click on the poster below for more info.
Alhamdulillah, I'm getting better with the posters right?
Here are some links to where the biography can be purchased inshaAllah.
Ar-Rashad Books and Gifts (UK)
Al Zahra Online (Canada)
The Fountain Islamic Bookshop (UK)
Iqra Bookcenter (US)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
See, didn’t I say it was going to go so fast? SubhanAllah, Ramadhan is almost over. We’re already in the last ten days, and soon it’ll be Eid…
With that said, please remember me and my family in your humble du’as and forgive me if I’ve wronged anyone knowingly or unknowingly.
Here’s a part of last Ramadhan’s post :)
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) help us take advantage of these last 10 days of Ramadhan, accepting all our worship (small to big) and all our du'as. May He (subhanahu wa ta’ala) forgive our sins, save us from His anger, from the fitnas of Shaytan, fitnas of Dajjal, from the love of this dunya, from the diseases of the heart, from all the evil that is in this dunya, from the punishments of the grave, from the torments of the Day of Judgment and from the fire of hell.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) through His infinite Mercy and Grace, purify our hearts, minds, souls and nafs, filling it with His Noor and love for Him (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His Rasul (sallallahu alayhi wassalam) only. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) give us success in both worlds and make us and raise us amongst those that He (subhanahu wa ta’ala) loves and favours. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) forgive those that have died and fill their graves with His Noor, mercy and blessings. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) forgive, give sabr, and grant ease to all those believers in hardship and sickness. May the Most Just (subhanahu wa ta’ala), help oppressed, give them sabr and give justice to those who know no justice.
We are the ummah of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala)'s beloved Nabi, Sayyidinah Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wassalam), and today we are drowning in our own sins and in the love of this dunya. We've become deluded to the extent that we take, see, practice, and preach from this deen only we want. Our ignorance and arrogance have made us blind and deluded from the true way of Islam.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) says, "It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly, whether he be hid by night or goes forth freely by day. For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah. Verily, Allah will not change the (good) condition of a people as long as they do not change their state (of goodness) themselves. But when Allah wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning it back, and they will find besides Him no protector." (13:10-11)
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), the Most Merciful has given us the Night of Power for a reason, and we all know quite well what that reason is. So lets take advantage of these last 10 days and so that we may purify ourselves and become closer to Him (subhanahu wa ta’ala).
I just came across at-Talib’s blog, and there was this very good article that he wrote about the last 10 days; you must read it inshaAllah!
Maximize in the Last 10 Days of Ramadan
• Laylatul Qadr (the Night of Power) is described in the Qur’an as, “better than a thousand months” (97:3). Thus, any action done on this night is more virtuous than carrying out that action in any other time of the year.
• Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam would exert himself in devotion during the last ten nights to a greater extent than at any other time. (Muslim)
• A’ishah radhiyallahu anha related that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said: ‘Search for Laylatul Qadr on the odd-numbered nights during the last ten nights of Ramadan.’ (Bukhari) Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said: ‘Whoever prays during the night of Qadr with faith and hoping for its reward will have all of his previous sins forgiven.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
• Here are some tips of things we can do to maximize these blessed days:
1. Take a vacation for Allah
We take a break from our jobs for almost everything in life. Why not take out time to focus on worshiping and thanking our Creator? If this is not completely possible, take a few days off at least if you can. This can make it easier to stay awake at night to do extra Ibadah, not having to worry about getting to work the next day. It will also facilitate doing I’tikaaf.
2. Perform I’tikaaf
It was a practice of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam to spend the last ten days and nights of Ramadan in the Masjid for I’tikaaf. Those in I’tikaaf in the Masjid perform various forms of Thikr (remembrance of Allah), perform additional Salaah, and recite and study the Noble Qur’an. I’tikaaf of a shorter period of time, like one night, a day or a couple of days is encouraged as well.
continue reading here
Thursday, September 03, 2009
With that said, let’s remind ourselves about what Ramadhan is, why it’s here and what our purpose for this month is. Let’s refresh our intentions, and push ourselves to do more in this month. We have to take benefit of this month; it’s just not an option. I mean, let’s face it, with our mountain load of sins, delusions, diseases of the heart, extreme love for this materialistic world and our lack of concern for the hereafter…we really need to juice out whatever we can from what this month has to offer, or we’ll be amongst the losers on the Day of Judgment (May Allah ta ‘ala save us).
Listening to talks about Ramadhan before or just on the first few days isn’t enough. With our weak Iman, we need constant revival. We get into it enthusiastically at first then after a few days of fasting and Tarawih, it dies out and so does our efforts. The first 10 days are gone; soon (sooner then soon actually) it’ll be half of Ramadhan gone. Then the last 10 days will come and before we can catch our breath, it’ll be 2 days before Eid!
So, wake up while you can and strive (same goes for myself of course), for there is no limit of how much worship you can do during this month. Read the Qur’an, listen to it, give sadaqah (charity), busy your tongue with adhkar (remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa ta ‘ala), send salutations on His Beloved Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wassalam), memorize Surahs, dua’s and ahadith. Read Islamic books and listen to lectures in order to gain ilm (knowledge). Bring the Sunnahs into your life and strive to make them your habits. Do your best to stay away from ill habits and try to cut them off so you’ll be free of them even after Ramadhan inshaAllah.
Also, make lots of du’as. Every now and then especially while you’re fasting, make du’a. This is the perfect time to ask for whatever you need/want. It’s also the time to ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta ‘ala) for forgiveness, to turn to Him in repentance.
Please remember me, this sinful sister (and the rest of this Ummah) in your humble du’as.
Friday, August 28, 2009
MashaAllah, it's very beautiful, it really makes your heart go soft..
Here is the video for the english part. All 3 parts have the same video.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
is seen through festive lights in Amman August 26, 2009.
REUTERS/Muhammad Hamed (JORDAN RELIGION)
SubhanAllah, with the long hot days and the beautiful recitation of Tarawih in the night, you can feel the nurturing that the ruh (soul) receives. All year round, we cater to every whim and fancy of our nafs (our base-self) and our ruh is deprived of what it really needs; having a intimate connection with our creator! Alhamdulillah we have been given the opportunity to witness yet another month of Ramadhan. Not making the most of it would be very pitiful indeed.
Before Ramadhan began, everyone (married ladies) that I talked to would always ask, “Are you ready for Ramadhan (or Ramzan :D)?” Now as you may have seen in one of my resent posts, I am currently doing a Ramadhan program for sisters, and it started before Ramadhan. In the first talk, I mostly talked about preparing our selves, spiritually, for Ramadhan so that we can take maximum benefit of it inshaAllah. I talked about the meaning of Ramadhan and how it’s an opportunity from Allah taa’la to turn back to Him. So, whenever I got asked this question, you know what I’d be thinking that they meant right? But boy was I wrong! I would reply,
“Oh so what did you (or are you) make(ing)?”
That’s where I would say, “huh?”
Then I realize what they meant. “Oh that! My mum made them all for me. Alhamdulillah.”
And the conversation would continue regarding the food.
It sounds funny, but if you think about it, it’s actually very sad! I mean, this is what happens all the time before every Ramadhan! The ladies prepare for Ramadhan with food and ask one another how many items they’ve made and how much they’ve stocked up in their freezers. What we should be asking one another is, how are you preparing yourself for Ramadhan so that you don’t miss out on the blessings? Have you taken out the TV plug? Have you made a goal for how many times you’ll complete the Qur’an? Are you going to go for Tarawih this year? See, these are the questions, we should be asking (to others as well as, more importantly, our selves). We should be encouraging one another to make the right and much needed preparations for Ramadhan.
Sure, the food is great, but that’s not what Ramadhan and sawm (fasting) is about.
As Imam al-Ghazali (May Allah be pleased with him) puts it,
Ordinary fasting means abstaining from food, drink and sexual satisfaction.
Special Fasting means keeping one's ears, eyes, tongue, hands and feet -- and all other organs -- free from sin.
Extra-special Fasting means fasting of the heart from unworthy concerns and worldly thoughts, in total disregard of everything but God, Great and Glorious is He. This kind of Fast is broken by thinking of worldly matters, except for those conducive to religious ends, since these constitute provision for the Hereafter and are not of this lower world.”
You can read the rest of it here and I really recommend it.
So I’m going to ask the obvious question, what level of fast do we want to achieve?
The answer to this rhetorical question obviously is (or it should be) that we want to achieve the highest level possible. Our goal should be to reach for the Extra-special Fasting. At the very least, we should be shooting for the Special Fasting.
All year long we’ve overfed ourselves and sinned beyond comprehension with our tongues (gossip, backbiting, slander, telling lies, etc.), our eyes (checking out the opposite gender, watching things we shouldn’t be watching, etc.), our ears (MUSIC, backbiting, etc.) our hands, our feet, our mind (evil thoughts) and with our heart (hatred, arrogance, jealousy, etc.).
We don’t know how long we’re going to live or if we’re going to get the next Ramadhan. Now is the time to change our habits and to mould ourselves the way we aught to be as true Mu’mineen, in this Most Blessed Month. Once the heat of Ramadhan moulds us, we can carry on our good habits after Ramadhan inshaAllah.
May Allah taa’la give us all the tawfiq (guidance) to take full advantage of this Blessed Month so that we may enter into Jannah and have freedom from the Hell Fire.
May He (subhanhu wa ta’ala) accept all our du’as and ibadah (worship) and forgive our sins whether they reach the heavens or are small like an atom.
May He (subhanhu wa ta’ala) shower the entire Ummah of Sayyidinah Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wassalam) continuously with His infinite mercy, blessings and forgiveness throughout this Blessed Month.
Please remember this sinful sister in your du’as and forgive any shorting comings whether done knowingly or unknowingly.
Also, check out these images of Ramadhan from around the globe.
Ramadan 2009- The Big Picture. They're amazing MashaAllah!
Oh and here is the updated poster with the updated programs that are taking place at IAOS.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Yay, it's finally here!
Alhamdulillah the Blessed Month has finally dawned upon us. May Allah (swt) give us the tawfiq to take full advantage of all it's blessings. Ameen!
So here I am, finally updating the blog, which no one probably reads now. For some reason however, I'm still willing to post the "Ramadhan Pictures" from around the world like I always do ever since I started this blog (which also wasn't so long ago :) ) So here they are! Please remember me and my family (along with the rest of this Ummah) in your du'as and forgive any shortcomings of mine.
Pakistani Muslims offers an evening prayers called 'Tarawih' marking the beginning of the holy fasting month of Ramadan at a road in Karachi, Pakistan. During the Islamic holy month of Ramadan which is starting Sunday, Muslims abstain from food, drink, smoking and sex from dawn until dusk and spend time in prayer and contemplation.(AP Photo/Fareed Khan)
Palestinian girls read the Koran in a mosque on the first day of the holy month of Ramadan in the West Bank city of Nablus August 22, 2009. Muslims around the world abstain from eating, drinking and conducting sexual relations from sunrise to sunset during Ramadan, the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. REUTERS/Abed Omar Qusini (WEST BANK RELIGION SOCIETY)
A Saudi man reads the Koran at Al-Feryaan mosque during the Muslim month of Ramadan in downtown Riyadh August 22, 2009. Muslims around the world abstain from eating, drinking and sexual relations from sunrise to sunset during Ramadan, the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. REUTERS/Fahad Shadeed (SAUDI ARABIA RELIGION SOCIETY)
A Pakistani Muslim recites holy book 'Quran' in Mohabbat Khan mosque in Peshawar, Pakistan on Saturday, Aug. 22, 2009. During the Islamic holy month of Ramadan which is starting Sunday, Muslims abstain from food, drink, smoking and sex from dawn until dusk and spend time in prayer and contemplation. (AP Photo/Mohammad Sajjad)
An Indonesian man examines a giant Muslim holy book of Quran on display in an exhibition held to mark the beginning of the holy fasting month of Ramadan at a hotel in Jakarta, Indonesia, Friday, Aug. 21, 2009. During Ramadan, the holiest month in Islamic calendar, Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, smoking and sex from dawn to dusk. The Quran that was handwritten by two Muslim scholars was 2 x 1.5 meters (6.5 x 4.9 ft.) and weighs at 300 kilograms (660 lbs). (AP Photo/Tatan Syuflana)
A Palestinian Muslim man, decorates an alley of Jerusalem's old city with festive lights in preparation for the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, Friday, Aug. 21, 2009. The holy month of Ramadan, when observant Muslims fast from dawn to dusk, will begin Saturday. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)
Unidentified Bahraini men search the sky over Hamad Town, Bahrain, on Friday, Aug. 21, 2009, for the new moon that signals the start of the Islamic holy month of Ramadan. Several predominately Muslim nations are beginning Ramadan, a month of prayer, fasting and charitable giving, on Saturday. (AP Photo/Hasan Jamali)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
After a nice loooong holiday in good ol' T.O I'm back in Regina getting ready for the most blessed month of the year, Ramadhan! May Allah (swt) give us the ability (and life) to take full benefit (to the max) of the Holy Month.
For those wondering if I miss T.O-- I do. But not that much. Just the thought of Ramadhan getting closer doesn't make me miss it that much. I'm just so excited!!
About my summer, I'll explain it when I post the pictures up inshaAllah. Right now, I'm just busy with a Ramadhan Series (Seerah is on hold until after Eid) for sisters in highschool and university. So if you fall under that catagory and live in Regina, come and join us inshaAllah. My wonderful husband (mashaAllah) will also be doing a Family Halaqah this Saturday inshaAllah, so if you don't fall into the former catagory then this one should do it as it is for everyone!
Like the amateur poster? It's by yours truly! As you can see, I'm still new with CorelDraw...more about that later!
Until then, I promise I'll be updating sooner then you think inshaAllah! :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I tried putting the video on my blog, but it came out so big, so just click on the link below to view it. Watch the second video first, then the first.
Microsoft unveils new controller --BBC NEWS
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I. Am. Like. So excited! I can't wait! I just can't wait to go to T.O!
InshaAllah I will be going to Toronto this summer for a visit, and as you can probably tell, I can't wait! Don't get me wrong. Regina's not that bad. It's just that I was born and raised in the GTA, so it's kinda hard not to miss it. Everyday, since our tickets were booked, I've been saying to my husband and everyone here in Regina, "I can't wait to go home!" Yeah, I still consider it home- so what? You'd call it the same too...
Anyways let's get back to the topic of this post. We were originally planning to come in the first week of July, but my husband found out that the Youth Tarbiyah Conference (YTC) will be on the last weekend of June, so we decided we can't miss that. Therefore, we will be coming a bit earlier so we can go to the YTC inshaAllah! See, that's how amazing it is. It's definitely something to look forward to. I missed out on Path to Piety unfortunately, but Allah Ta'ala has blessed us with another opportunity to seek ilm (knowledge) and be around those with ilm inshaAllah.
I can't emphasize it more- well maybe I could, but I think this trailer says it all mashaAllah!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
So, everyone’s been making du’as right? See, that’s why I posted the second part so late. It gives you ample time to make du’a! Okay, okay, that’s not the reason. That’s just an excuse I thought of a few days ago when I felt guilty for not finishing it sooner, hehe. So, please forgive me and Allah Ta’ala will reward you for your patience with me! I actually finished this post a week after the last post, but it had to undergo some editing (through procrastination and whatnot). I had to put my foot down, and make sure I posted this today! Alhamdulillah I've managed.
Make sure you continue to make du’a, whether you are ready to propose/accept a marriage proposal, planning a wedding (engaged) or even if you are already married. As Muslims, we should always and always be making du’a for everything (not only for marriage!). I thought I should just make that clear. Just in case.
Now lets start from before the stage of proposing/accepting marriage proposals. Basically, readying yourself before you start proposing or accepting marriage proposals. It’s really important that before you come to that stage, you are presentable. What I mean here is that for example, if a sister wants a good pious husband, then she should be doing proper hijab. Now that’s not the reason for doing hijab, it should only be for the sake of Allah Ta’ala, but if you’re not, then how can you expect Allah Ta’ala to give a good, pious husband to you? Remember, you want someone who can help you become closer to Allah Ta’ala but don’t expect someone to make you start wearing hijab after you get married. That’s not very easy for a man, and you’re intentions may be shaky. So do yourself a favour and start practicing like a Muslim woman should, for the sake of Allah Ta’ala. He’ll help you with the rest (meaning everything in this world and the next) inshaAllah.
It goes for the brothers too. Don’t go expecting a good Muslimah if you’re walking around with your pants falling off, girly faced (be a man and grow a beard!), and smoking (whether it be cigarettes or drugs, it’s all haram anyways!) Remember to change your condition for Allah Ta’ala, turn towards Him (do taubah) and He will help you in both worlds.
The reason why I started with your dressing is because the eyes see first. What people see on you, your ‘outward’ image, is how you will be judged by others. Let’s think of it this way; if a sister sees you dressed like a gangster or a punk, how do you think you’ll be perceived and which Muslimah would want to be your wife? Same example for the sisters, if you dress flauntingly or ‘simply’ showing your beauty to the world, how do you think you’ll be perceived and which Muslim man would want to be your husband? If you want a pious spouse who will respect you, fulfill your rights and treat you with Taqwa (fear and consciousness of Allah Ta’ala), you should be deserving of that. If you saw a sister or a brother looking like that, would you want them to be your spouse? Your spouse is for a lifetime inshaAllah. You want to make sure you’re with someone who knows your rights as a husband/wife and who will spiritually bring you closer to Allah Ta’ala making your Iman stronger. You also want a good parent for your future children and someone who will help you raise them to be the best of Muslims.
The next point is, DO NOT GET INTO ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE MARRIAGE! Unless of course you want problems later with your spouse because it will make any brother or sister hesitant or unwilling to propose/ accept a proposal. Also, no husband/wife likes hearing and knowing that their significant other had a relationship before marriage with someone else.
So there might be a lot of you out there who don’t get into a relationship before marriage. But it’s not only about that. It’s also about what can lead to it too. You might not even be in a relationship but why would you do things that may lead to it or make it appear as though you are. To make it clear, avoid things like,
· Mingling with the opposite gender
· Talking and being “friends” with the opposite gender (no such thing as being friends with a non-mahram in Islam! Just watch this, Ask Baba Ali - "We're Just Friends")
· Hanging out with the opposite gender
· Having the opposite gender on your msn, and chatting (IM) with them
· Talking or texting with the opposite gender on you cell phone
Islam is so perfect. Allah Ta’ala has already made ways for us to avoid getting into these sorts of situations. First off, Allah Ta’ala says to the believing men,
“Tell the mu’mineen men that they should lower their gazes and guard their chastity.” (24:30)
In the next verse, He gives the same order to the believing women to emphasize the importance of this issue. Allah Ta’ala says:
“And tell the believing women that they should lower their gazes and preserve their chastity.” (24:31)
Umar (Radhiallahu ‘Anho) reports that our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) has said, “Whenever a man and women are together in solitude, Shaitan is the third person with them.” (Tirmidhi)
See how simple it is? I mean, I know it’s tempting and seems very harmless, but do you really want to fall into those sins? These types of actions (sins) bring undesirable consequences in both worlds and if not in this world, definitely in the next. The displeasure of Allah Ta’ala brings no blessings. Just avoid these things and you won’t have to worry about getting into a relationship (even if you ‘think’ or try to make yourself ‘think’ that the person is the one!) because if it doesn’t work out, and in many, many, many cases it doesn’t work out. Then you’ll have problems proposing/accepting a proposal, because the person at the other end of it will be very hesitant indeed. If you think they won’t find out, then you’re only fooling yourself. Everything travels through the wind; well actually, it’s more like through the aunties, khalas, uncles, text messages, and things like facebook, twitter and message boards. Yeah, you know what I mean.
If you are proposing/accepting a marriage proposal then you have a right to ask people that may know that person about them in order to be able to make an informed choice and whoever you ask has to tell you the truth, especially if there was bad and the ugly things that took place in your prospects past.
It is the permissible type of backbiting as mentioned in the books of ahadeeth in the commentary of the hadith where Fatima bint Qays (Radhiyallahu ‘Anha) said, "I went to the Prophet(Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), and said, 'Abu'l-Jahm and Mu'awiya have both proposed marriage to me.' The Messenger of Allah (Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) said, 'Mu'awiya is poor and without property. Abu'l-Jahm does not put down the staff from his shoulder.'" [Agreed upon]
In a version of Muslim, "As for Abu'l-Jahm, he beats women," which explains the transmission, "He does not put down the staff from his shoulder." It is also said to mean he travels a lot. (Taken from Riyadus Saliheen, hadith 1533)
So it’s REALLY important not to get into these things. It’s a sin to begin with, and it can really mess life up for anyone in both worlds. Remember, it’s out of fear of Allah Ta’ala’s wrath and displeasure that we should be avoiding these things. So that is the primary reason why we shouldn’t get into them. However, I just want to make clear that in many cases this sin has very serious repercussions in this world also that will haunt a person for a great part of their life. Besides, I’m sure we’ve all heard stories where proposals never worked out, because of situations like these.
Be strong! Have Taqwa!
Now I know some of you may be asking, “What about love marriage? Is there love marriage in Islam?” SubhanAllah, I always get that question from the sisters. Maybe it’s all the romance novels, love songs and romantic movie flicks giving us the impression that we can’t get married with someone without being in love first! We all know that dating is not allowed in Islam, and if, Islamically, you can’t get into a relationship before marriage then obviously there is no “falling in love” before marriage! See, true love actually comes after nikkah,
Ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu ‘Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) has said, "We have not seen anything that creates love between two individuals such as nikah." (Ibn Majha)
So, whatever you’re feeling now is either infatuation or love but it’s definitely not the love that Allah Ta’ala places in your hearts when you get nikkah done
As Allah Ta’ala says in Surah ar-Room, “Also among His Signs is that He has created spouses for you from yourselves so that you may find solace (peace and rest) with them and He has placed (tremendous) love and (a great deal of) mercy between you. There are certainly Signs in this for the people who contemplate.” (30:21)
This is what we learn from the Qur’an and Hadeeth. Allah Ta’ala has promised us love between the spouses after marriage while our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has informed us that there is nothing more effective in creating love then nikah. This should be enough for us. Even if we ask for a more logical explanation, we will find many reasons why the love that is born after marriage is by far superior to the infatuation that is found before marriage.
Here is something that was once explained to me: When a boy and girl are “going out”, they are in the courting phase. If we look at animals in nature, we see that when this courting phase is in effect the male will showoff whatever beauty he has while doing all types of dances to impress and attract the female. It’s exactly the same thing with humans. The only difference is that in humans it takes place in both the male and female.
So basically, what happens when a couple is dating, is that, for the most part, both of them only see the good things that the other has to offer. So, before the marriage takes place they have already seen all the good things. The only things left to see, are the bad habits and traits that will only become apparent when they start living together. When they do get married and start seeing things that they have never seen before, a person begins to question whether he/she made the right decision. This obviously has a very bad effect on the happiness in the marriage and can ultimately, in the long run, cause the marriage to break down.
On the other hand, when a boy and girl get married in the sunnah fashion, which is that the boy sees the girl and they talk a little in the presence of others so that they get to know one another a little bit. After this, if both are satisfied, they will do Istikharah where they ask Allah Ta’ala to guide them in doing what is best for their deen and dunya. If this goes well the boy will send a proposal and the girl has the choice of accepting this proposal.
When these two individuals get married, they will both see the good as well as the not so good. In this stage of the marriage, it will be easy to accept the faults of the spouse because of the intense love that Allah places in the hearts of both spouses (Especially in the beginning!). So, in this way the faults don’t have such an adverse effect on the marriage as in the case of the love marriage.
If you do get yourself into a situation where you’re “in love” (note that it’s in quotation marks), then you need to get married asap. Get the walis involved, and let them arrange it and make preparations for the nikkah in the proper manner. Don’t prolong the haram. Make it halal as soon as you can. (This obviously doesn’t mean that someone should take this course if they are not already in this sad state!)
The next thing to sort out is your expectations. You should have some expectations in what you’re looking for in a spouse. You can ask your friends and families for some tips too. However, you must refrain from setting your expectations too high, because that will only lead to failure and disappointment. Always keep in mind this golden hadith,
Rasulullah (Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) has said, "A woman is married for her wealth, her reputation, her beauty, or her religion. Choose the religious one so that you may prosper." [Bukhari].
This Hadeeth goes for both the brothers and the sisters.
So the brothers should expect things like, a hijabi sister who is modest and is practicing, who has good qualities (hayah, adab, ilm, etc.), who comes from a good family and who is good looking, etc. A sister should expect things like, a practicing brother who has a beard, goes to the Masjid often and has knowledge (ilm). Then look at whether he has a good job (Is he able to take care of your needs? doesn’t have to be a doc!), is he from a good family, good looking, etc. We know looks, money, status are definitely things to consider and they are there in the back of our minds, but that shouldn’t be the primary factor for marriage, or as some say, “the make or break factor”. Marrying someone who is religious and who has ilm, is essential because they will know how to treat you and know your rights as a spouse. If they have taqwa, they will never go against your rights even in the hard times.
A lot of times when people have high expectations with all the factors, usually the last 3, it becomes unrealistic, resulting in it being very, very hard to get married. If you’re looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, you’ll be looking for a very long time until you’re old and no one wants to marry you. Then you’ll just give in on anyone, or not get married at all. That’s the reality my dear sisters and brothers! This happens very often, and it’s sad and depressing for the families that have to go through with it as well. There’s a limit for everything, and you can’t always have what you want. Everyone has some kind of fault in them and no one is perfect. And if the parents are the one’s with the high expectations, you should talk to them. If they still don’t comprehend the reality, then get a person whose opinion they respect, to talk to them about it and InshaAllah that should help.
The next point I want to mention is generally for the parents. Quite often parents think it’s better for their daughter to get married from their country “back home”. In some cases, it could be, but in many cases in today’s time, it’s not better. It’s worse. The reason is that growing up or even being born here in the western countries is different then being raised in a country back home. The mindset towards life and the expectations in marriage are different. The environment and culture is definitely different and that can cause a barrier and a clash in a marriage. For many of you, it can be a language barrier as well, since some of you probably can’t speak their mother tongue so fluently and the potential spouse may not even know fluent English. For the brothers getting married to someone from back home is in some ways still ok, but for the sisters, it’s taking a huge risk. I remember all my teachers were against getting married to a brother from back home. I know all of you know what I’m talking about, so I’m not going to go in much detail about that.
Nevertheless there are still some sisters for whom the marriage has perfectly worked out well mashaAllah. You know yourself better and only you know if you can handle getting married back home or not. If you can’t, you should really let your parents know and explain to them the pros and cons. I know some parents think there aren’t any decent and pious boys here (See brothers! You need to show the mothers that you’re decent enough!), but you and some family or friends can try to point out some decent and pious brothers who are from here and are married or unmarried still. Ask some married friends of yours to ask their husbands if they know any potential bachelor brothers. So, all the brothers looking to get married, make sure to let your married friends know that you’re looking! Just remember to make du’a, and inshaAllah it will all work out.
The last point I wanted to make clear was about this whole “proposing/accepting” concept. Usually it’s the brother who sends out a proposal to a sister who would either accept it or decline it. However, many have the misunderstanding that it’s only that way and not the other way around. There is actually nothing wrong with a sister sending out a proposal to a brother. We all know how Khadijah (Radhiyallahu ‘Anha) proposed to Rasulullah Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam so it’s not improper for a sister to do the same.
Unfortunately, it’s a cultural way of thinking. Many think that it’s degrading for a woman to propose while many say that the man (or even his family) will later say, “well, it’s you who proposed to me, you wanted to marry me, I didn’t ask you too…” That’s just sad, but that’s why many sisters (or their families) would never take the risk. I’m sure not all men would do that though. A good, pious man would never do that. Rasulullah (Sallalahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) and Khadijah (Radhiyallahu ‘Anha) are the examples that we should be following.
InshaAllah on the next part of this series (which is turning out longer then I thought) I’ll go more into detail on the proposing/accepting stage. So, until then, continue to make du’a and change yourself for the sake of Allah Ta’ala to better yourself in this world and in the next.